“Jesus didn’t say, ‘Come lead.’ He said, ‘Come follow Me.’”
That simple statement from Vince Miller challenges much of what we have come to believe about leadership. The world often portrays a leader as the person with the strongest vision, the best answers, or the most impressive accomplishments. Even in the church, leaders can feel pressure to be the hero—the person who always knows what to do and never shows uncertainty.
But Christian leadership begins somewhere very different. It begins with following Jesus.
Vince Miller, founder and president of Resolute Ministries and a featured speaker at the 2027 No Regrets Men’s Conference, recently joined No Regrets Executive Director Albo Esilaba for a conversation about leadership, discipleship, spiritual disciplines, vulnerability, and finishing well.
Throughout their conversation, one truth kept emerging: We lead others most faithfully when we are actively following Christ ourselves.
Let Go of the Pressure to Be the Hero
Vince learned this lesson through his own experience as a husband and father.
Because his father was not present in his life, Vince entered fatherhood without a model to follow. He felt pressure to become the “hero dad”—the perfect husband and father who always knew what his family needed.
Eventually, he realized that his role was not to be the hero. His role was to follow the One who is.
Rather than trying to become the perfect father, Vince began allowing God to father him. He could then point his wife and children toward their perfect heavenly Father.
That realization relieved him of the pressure to perform without removing his responsibility to lead.
The same principle applies to leadership in our homes, churches, workplaces, and communities. We are not called to have everything figured out. We are called to follow Jesus faithfully and invite others to follow Him with us.
“The only leading I’m doing,” Vince explained, “is leading them into a following.”
Reject the Defeatist Mindset
Many Christian men live caught in cycles of sin, shame, and fear. They struggle repeatedly, become discouraged, and eventually begin to believe that lasting change is impossible.
Vince is deeply troubled when he sees men accept this defeatist mindset.
This does not mean pretending that difficult circumstances are easy or relying on positive thinking. It means remembering who we have become through Christ.
Romans 8 tells us that we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. The same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead is at work in those who belong to Christ. Sin may still be a battle, but defeat does not have to define us.
Men must learn to recognize and confront the thoughts that tell them they cannot change, cannot lead, or cannot be used by God.
Our identity is not rooted in our failures. It is rooted in Christ.
Move Beyond Superficial Christianity
Sometimes fear and insecurity hide behind what appears to be humility.
A man may avoid stepping forward because he says he is not qualified. He may keep relationships at a surface level because he does not want others to see his uncertainty. He may know the right Christian language without ever revealing what is actually happening in his heart.
Authentic vulnerability begins with small, honest statements:
“I don’t know how to handle this.”
“I’m struggling in my marriage.”
“I don’t understand the Bible as well as I want to.”
“I need help.”
These admissions are not signs of weakness. They are often the first steps toward growth.
Men need safe relationships where they can move beyond superficial conversation, acknowledge their insecurities, and receive biblical encouragement. When a man becomes willing to be known, shame begins to lose its power.
Return to the Essential Disciplines
Spiritual disciplines are sometimes treated as a way to earn God’s favor. But that is not their purpose. They help us consistently place ourselves before God so we can grow in intimacy with Him.
Vince describes Bible reading as listening to God and prayer as speaking with God.
These practices are simple, but they are essential. Through Scripture, we encounter the unchanging Word of God and allow it to change us. Through prayer, we respond honestly to what God reveals.
Leaders can lose this personal connection with Scripture. Pastors and teachers, in particular, may begin reading the Bible primarily to prepare the next sermon, lesson, or discussion. The question quietly shifts from “What is God saying to me?” to “How can I use this to help someone else?”
God’s Word must affect the leader before the leader communicates it to others.
Scripture is not merely material to organize into points and applications. It is living and active. We should approach it expecting God to convict, encourage, correct, and transform us.
Learn the Difference Between Vision and Discontentment
Faithful leaders naturally look ahead. They see possibilities, pursue opportunities, and want their work to grow.
But even good ambition can become unhealthy.
Vince spoke candidly about learning to distinguish God-given vision from a restless desire for more. Constantly pursuing the next opportunity can keep leaders from faithfully tending what God has already placed before them.
As Vince considers the years ahead, his desire is increasingly focused on finishing well: continuing to study Scripture, teach biblical truth, encourage men, share the gospel, and lead people to Jesus.
Leadership contentment does not mean giving up or refusing to grow. It means releasing the need to prove our value through bigger opportunities and greater achievements. It is the willingness to remain faithful in the work God has given us—even when that work feels ordinary.
Stop Self-Disqualifying
One of the greatest barriers keeping men from serving is the voice of self-disqualification.
Men convince themselves that they are not knowledgeable enough, experienced enough, spiritual enough, or influential enough to make a difference. As a result, they remain on the sidelines.
Vince’s challenge is direct:
“Silence that voice of self-disqualification. Get out there, do something, grab some men, and get them together.”
You do not have to be the hero. You do not need every answer. You simply need to take the next faithful step as you follow Jesus.
That could mean inviting a few men to study Scripture with you. It could mean asking another man for help. It might mean becoming more intentional as a husband or father, starting a men’s group, or bringing the No Regrets Conference to your church or community.
Christian leadership does not begin when you feel completely prepared. It begins when you respond to Jesus’ invitation:
“Follow Me.”
Join Us in 2027
Vince Miller will be a featured speaker at the 2027 No Regrets Men’s Conference on Saturday, February 6. This year’s theme, Follow Me, comes from Matthew 16:24:
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”
Attend live at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, Wisconsin, gather with other men at a host site, host the conference at your church, or participate through individual streaming.
Learn more and register at NoRegretsConference.org.
